The Dark Side of our Society - We hang our heads in SHAME!

Emotions drained me from top to bottom when I heard the case of Dowry death in Dehradun, giving me Goosebumps of to what extent is a girl is exposed to the brutalities of the society. 

Marriage once looked upon as a beautiful lifelong commitment has turned into a brutal business. It has lost its meaning in the inhuman race for money.  Kalyug has reached its zenith of savagery & brutality! Dowry menace has crippled our society, stained the mindset of people to an extent that it’s a curse to humanity.

 A woman dies every hour in India due to the demands placed upon her family as a result of the dowry system, according to figures from the country's National Crime Records Bureau.

Tragic Story of a distant relative Lakwinder Kaur (Sonia Kaur) who was burnt alive when her parents couldn’t meet the dowry demands of her in law family. The incident took place at Dehradun.

She tied knots to beautiful commitment on 7th July 2014 with Gurmeet Singh, stepping ahead in a new phase of life, not being aware of what a horrifying end that relationship will scare her with. This beginning gradually became the most torturing nightmare of her life. Her husband was the owner of a car rental business in Haridwar.

She was shunned, abused and tortured for dowry for Rs 6 lakhs from past few months when she expressed her denial to pay the amount her in-laws demanded.

Adding to her grave situation, she was abandoned with hunger pangs for many days, she was exposed to every extreme form of brutalities from being physically tortured to emotionally exhaust.

The Couple decided to move to Dehradun for some time followed with her in-laws. On 13th April 2015 when the situation crossed every limit. She went to police station went to lodge a complaint on 13 April 2015 Dehradun, Patel Nagar. Police paid no heed to her miseries and refused to lodge the complaint due to her husband’s high influential power.

Gurmeet Singh's Family and relatives exhorted to the most brutal attempt of setting her on FIRE, the girl died a miserable death as 99% body was burnt.

Accused is not arrested yet. No action has been taken yet apart from Registering FIR. Accused are freely roaming.

None of the following is a factor in India’s female genocide: economics, education, class, caste, religion, and community. It involves the educated and wealthy, as well as the poor and uneducated. The skewed sex ratio adverse to the female child is a sad mirror image of the social thinking even in the 21st Century.

Every son born into a family is greedily viewed as the ‘golden goose’ who will bring in the fantasized wealth through the dowry they will demand when he gets married.  The worst cases of dowry death reflect the degree of that greed. The practice of easy wealth acquisition is engulfing the society having its worst victims as females!

As of yet the system of law and order in India has shown little inclination towards bringing this situation under control.  It is riddled with corruption and incompetence, and many in the government offices, police and medical establishment themselves indulge in dowry and female foeticide.  The possibility for change through the official channels therefore is bleak.

Are we ashamed enough?

Dowry is an age old custom where the wife's family has to hand over endless amounts in cash and gifts at the wedding and beyond to secure her wellbeing.

It is illegal and the punishments are severe, but the number of cases is on the rise in a country that continues to grapple with the issue of violence against women. The system has far-reaching effects on Indian society. It is the primary reason for female feticide and infanticide. Activists estimate 500,000 female fetuses are aborted illegally every year. For many families it is the boy who brings in the riches while a girl continuously depletes it.

We as human beings belong to a social group at birth and our development and growth is influenced largely by that groups' philosophy. Being a Sikh woman by birth I have seen women being glorified as goddesses as well as downgraded. My soul was in a search for an explanation, and recently I have turned to the Sikh Scriptures (Sri Guru Granth Sahib) for an answer.

And the answers says

Guru Nanak writes.

"From the woman is our birth, in the woman's womb are we shaped;

To the woman we are engaged, to the woman we are wedded;

The woman is our friend and from woman is the family;

Through the woman are the bonds of the world;

Why call woman evil who gives birth to the leaders of the World?

From the woman is the woman, without woman there is none".

(Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, 473)

The Guru reprimands those who consider women as inferior to men. He sees them as active partners in advancing goodwill, general happiness and the collective moral values of society. This declaration definitively requires women to be placed in high esteem.

Sikhism condemns prevalence of female Infanticide and the ritual of dowry in Indian society.

"O' my Father! give me the Name of Lord God as a gift and dowry.

Let the Lord be my wear, His Glory my Beauty, that my Task be accomplished.

Blessed is the Lord's worship; the True Guru has blessed me with it.

In all lands, nay, in all Universe Pervades the Glory of the Lord; the gift of the Lord's (Name) is matchless;

All other Dowry displayed by the self-willed is false egoism and a vain show."

(Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, 78/79).

The Guru's called this giving of gifts an "offer for show" of the guests and a "worthless display" which only increase the "false egotism".

Where have we failed, as parents, teachers and leaders, that our children have forgotten all tenets of decent behavior and respect for women?

Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are.

The country's future will remain both visible and elusive "if we do not discover the ability to continually cleanse ourselves of retrograde habits and social ills.

As the worthy children of our Gurus, we must pledge to place Women elevated on the same standards of thinking as propagated by our gurus.

It’s time to drill our society with some sensitivity of acknowledging themselves as humans!

Faith leads to Hope and Miracle follows - Guru Ram Das Rakho Sarnai

The whole of India watched in eager earnest, the outcome of the imbroglio of Campa Cola Compound, Mumbai. The highest judiciary in the land, Supreme Court had ordered the illegal floors of the buildings in Worli’s Campa Cola compound to be demolished and people across the nation and the city felt a fraction of the residents’ shock. The shocking images of wailing, screaming women and children left many of us speechless with the looming thought that these people will be homeless in a few hours.

You could either see the hapless residents blocking the entry gates by forming human chains or holding ‘save our homes, save campa cola’ placards and banners or even  performing ‘hawans’ to refrain the authorities from setting foot into and bringing down their domiciles.

It was absolutely clear that the residing families weren’t leaving any stone unturned, and all this bore some fruits in the form of extension of deadlines issued by the court for final demolition. But with the court finally becoming stricter regarding the case, it didn’t seem that it was interested in setting a precedent by allowing the illegal construction to stand.

As they ran from pillar to post to stop the demolition of the 143 apartments in central Mumbai, the residents of the Campa Cola compound in Worli in central Mumbai banked on a SLP ‘special leave petition’ they had filed before the Supreme Court to save them. The residents were hoping that the Supreme Court will be enough to hold back the city's civic body from going ahead with the demolition. Many of the residents were on a hunger strike protesting the demolition of the apartments.

The deadline for vacating illegal flats in Worli's Campa Cola compound lapsed but not single resident submitted keys to their ward office. The civic body then planned to enter the premises on June 17 to cut electricity, water and gas connections, following which it planned to start demolishing the internal walls of the flats to make them uninhabitable. Their trauma had been prolonged. The Government didn’t do anything to help them on humanitarian grounds.

Supreme Court had quashed their plea for an extension. The residents remain defiant on handing over the keys, though.

Exhausted by the attempts to save the compounds from that misery, Ajit Mathur, the legal advisor of the case called his friend, explaining their dismal helplessness as the last resort. As soon as he heard that his friend was at the Sacred Sikh Holy Shrine Shri Harmandir Sahib; He exclaimed” Now My work is done!” His battle was half won when he said this. Such was his CONVICTION.

He just requested him to get a gallon of Sacred Nectar from Guru Ram Das ji’s Sarovar, for him. He believed in the divine power of Faith. His Faith was strong enough to defy all the fears which had hovered his mind.

The day after; this sacred water was sprinkled around the whole compound and an Ardaas performed. And what was surprising that it actually did WORK!

No one knew that, this Only ray of hope had the power to turn the situation flipside. In a huge relief to hundreds of agitating residents of the Campa Cola Compound in South Mumbai`s posh Worli area, the Supreme Court stayed the demolition of illegal flats. The Supreme Court on May 30, 2014 declined to stay the eviction of the residents.

For Campa Cola society residents, it`s tears of joy with hope. The apex court directed the officials of the BMC to halt the demolition work.

This Decision gave a fresh lease of life to hundreds of Campa Cola society residents who have waged a do-or-die battle to save their homes, claiming that they had done nothing wrong and they were duped by builders.

When there is HOPE, there is FAITH, when there is FAITH, there are MIRACLES.

Guru Ram Das even answered the prayers of this Non-practicing Sikh.

Inspired by the Sikhism, An Italian Lady partakes Amrit!

This Italian Lady took Amrit deeply inspired by Sikh Thoughts. It’s a blessing for her to be a part of this beautiful religion. Her Friend Navpreet Kaur introduced her to this religion by introducing her history of the sacrifices of the Sikh Guru & their teachings. This gripped her mind & she developed an unconditional love for Sikhism. She started reading books on Sikh History in English too. Her Heart was deeply touched when she saw ‘ Chaar Sahibzaade’. The touch was soo deep that she decided to dedicate her life to the Guru Sahib & changed her name to Hargun Kaur.  The depth is reflected in her purified soul.

She inspires the upcoming generation as a youth icon. Adorned in all five kakaars, this Kaur now religiously recites her Nitnem during the blissful sacred hours of Amritvella.

While the youth is caught by the menace of drugs, these inspirational stories continue to remind us of the blessing we are endowed with by the virtue of being a Sikh. Its our duty to refine ourselves in accordance to the beauty of Sikhism & preserve it for our future generation!

Future Perfect- Amritdhari Khalsa is Punjab Police Officer!

Have a look at the First Ever Amritdhari Sikh Police Lady Constable in Punjab Police with Dumala as part of her uniform. She joins SGGS senthia class at SGGS Academy Raikot. She sets an inspiration for other Sikhs to proudly carry their attire. An example which surely makes us Proud! Such examples embody the power of positivity, inspiration, strength for other Sikh women. With Guru Inspired Sikhi Saroop you get connected to Sikh Values, a constant reminder of her commitment to her religion. Physical identity impacts how other perceive and treat you, molds how you feel about yourself, and communicates your values to the world. Furthermore, physical identity has a role in developing personal psyche.  “Researchers have found that those who have made a strong commitment to an identity tend to be happier and healthier than those who have not. Those with a status of identity diffusion tend to feel out of place in the world and don’t pursue a sense of identity,”.

As a Guru’s Child I want my Sikh women fraternity to be empowered with equality the way Guru Nanak Dev Ji wanted. The steps Sikh Gurus took to advocate the equality of women revolutionized the tradition of Indian society. As women began to partake in social, religious and political affairs, their contribution and worth as equal partners of men became more obvious. The Gurus taught that men and women are equal in the eyes of God, so are equal in rights on the Earth. Gursikh woman Police Officers reflect a true warrior spirit which Sikhism is known for. Their turbans add to their attire of Service to the Nation, to the Society. It’s a moment of Pride to watch Sikh women serving their country without worrying about having to compromise their identity as a Sikh.

Let's bring back Punjab's glory & arrest drug abuse, patit-puna, female-foeticide by providing Quality & Value-based educational institutes to doorstep of rural poor. Akal Academies have contributed immensely in creating such ideals for the society who are inculcated with quality education & values of selfless service to the mankind.

We the children, aspire for such a Punjab! 

Smile Your Way to a Brighter New Year in High Spirits!

What do we gain from having an optimistic attitude? How does this relate to Sikhi?

Optimistic attitude may be a first step for attaining a state of Chardikala.  Chardikala is  a notch above optimism.

Let us review the psychological literature on optimism, and see if this can give us more insight into how Chardikala is a notch above optimism.

How does attention relate to how we find a situation in front of us? According to a psychological model, the modal model (Gross, J. J.), potentially upsetting or delightful situations are only actually upsetting or delightful if attention is directed to relevant aspects of the situation. In this sense, attention is the gateway for emotion, but it’s important to note that it’s a bidirectional relationship, where emotion in turn shapes attention. For example if we have a potential threat in front of us, attention will facilitate the processing of information related to the threat, and this potentiates a negative emotional response. Life1 (110K)This negative emotional response, in turn, increases attentional focus toward the potential threat, leading to further enhancements in information processing, and hence to increased negative emotional responding.

This made me ask this question to myself – so maybe by focusing on the positive aspects of a situation, moving our attention to the positive aspects, we will see all the situations in either a delightful or neutral way? Let us take an example. If I break my leg during an accident, and people around me stop to help me, will the situation become more neutral or even positive if I focus my attention on the kind and helpful people around me rather than thinking about the pain in my leg? If we relate this to the model mentioned above, this attention focus of mine, will give a more neutral and emotional response, and this will again increase the attentional focus toward the kind and helping people, which will increase my thankful responding. So according to the modal model, if we focus on the positive aspects of a situation, this indeed will be profitable for us, in that it will give rise to more neutral or positive emotions.

The important thing for the Sikh to remember is that while he is entitled to the good things of life, he should recognize that these are the gifts of God and he should, therefore, praise and thank God for them. He should always make himself worthy of these and if need be, he should learn to curtail his wants and help the needy. It is inevitable that while he desires and holds on to worldly things for his own sake, he will be less able to serve others disinterestedly; he must of necessity learn not to be attached to such things and not to regard anything as being wholly and completely his own.

Human beings are unaware of the divine spark in themselves; they are far less conscious of the purpose of their existence. According to Guru Nanak, the purpose of human life is to enable the being to appreciate the face of his relationship with the Eternal Spirit and to facilitate his becoming reunited with Him. When man begins to remember God with love in his heart, his evaluation of worldly pleasures and attachments is inevitably altered. By modeling his life on the perfection of God, and believing in the will of God, he hereby wins God's grace

An attitude of non-attachment, and a complete trust in the goodness of God and His Fatherly concern with our welfare, will naturally lead to contentment. This does not mean that we are entirely unconcerned about what happens to us or that we are necessarily satisfied with things as they are. God's will is that mankind should always diligently fight adversity and consistently strive to make better than it is, not only for himself, but for everybody. Contentment is the acceptance of good grace, of those conditions which are beyond our powers to change, and a recognition that until God gives us the means to change them, He does want us to worry too much about them. This attitude of mind is amply borne out in the life of Guru Gobind Singh, who always fought hard, but never grieved over his losses.

The human form is the supreme gift which is bestowed on man by God's grace, and it is through His grace that man derives the capacity to remember God; through grace, too, man comes to know of his divine origin and makes the effort to merge finally into that Divine source. It is a unique phenomenon of His Creation that God granted to man the supreme experience of knowing His presence.

Does it make any difference how we appraise every situation? Fridja (1988) came with the Law of Apparent Reality: “Emotions are elicited by events appraised as real, and their intensity corresponds to the degree to which this is the case”. Even situations that are artificial (like a film or a play), can arouse emotions as long as the individual sees them as meaningful. Individual differences in interpretations of situations powerfully shape emotional responses. The optimists see good news in neutral or ambiguous situations.

So does it have any impact to have positive and optimistic interpretations of any situation that arise? Research frequently shows that it does! For example it’s found that optimists and their partners show more relationship-satisfaction, and when they were discussing a conflict, they looked at each other as engaging more constructively during the conflict, which again turned to that both partners felt that the conflict was better solved one week later.

One emotion regulation technique that is found useful if done in an optimistic way, is to reappraisal whatever situation one confronts. Individual who reinterpret situations with an optimistic attitude, reinterpret what they find stressful in the situation, and make more active efforts to repair bad moods. These people both experience and express behaviorally more positive emotions and less negative emotion than those who reappraise less frequently. The optimistic people also show fewer depressive symptoms and greater self-esteem, life satisfaction and every other type of well-being the researchers measured.

Who doesn’t want to have greater degrees of positive emotions and less of the negative ones? Who doesn’t want to have good self-esteem and greater life satisfaction? I would guess most people want that. Research clearly shows that reinterpreting situations in an optimistic way probably is a key! It gives us a concrete thing to do. We have to think more positively in every situation, we have to focus our attention on the positive aspects of every situation and we should know how to reinterpret any given situation in a more optimistic way. Of course we will face negative situations, but there must be some positive in all of it? If focusing on the positive in the situation, can divert our attention from the pain in the leg to the helpful and kind people, and thus reduce our pain, is it not worth it?

All these findings tell us about the positive impact about having a positive, optimistic focus in life. Now let us think about – the concept of Chardikala, which probably is a notch above optimism. What immense positive impact could this state have upon us? We all probably have a long way to go to the height of Chardikala, but maybe the first step is to be more aware of our attitudes and thinking about life? Maybe the next step after being aware, is changing our thoughts and attitudes to become more optimistic, and get inspired of these individuals we have in history who show us what Chardikala is? I have no final answer to these questions, this are only thoughts.

Life is as much happiness, dedication, enthusiasm, love and warmth as anxiety, depression and unhappiness!